I thought I’d write a quick update (or rather, an intro for an upcoming update) about my homeless life coach situation. Today is our last day at the place we’ve been staying, and we’re off to my dad’s place in a nearby town. I didn’t get much sleep last night- or the past few nights, for that matter. I’ve been having anxiety pressure in my chest and feel pretty suffocated.
Two nights ago, I tried to “Nevillize” as I drifted to sleep, but for one, I couldn’t relax and another thing was that I couldn’t sleep, so the state akin to sleep was not really there for me to grasp. I saw a studio apartment today and it was okay… not in the same school zone as before, but I saw it as somewhere to go. Yet, I don’t have the money for rent and security deposit so was hesitant to fill out an application.
There’s a constant back and forth in vibration and it really feels like a tennis match sometimes. Optimism, hopelesness, confidence, then fear. I feel like I’m sure something will work out, yet when it gets close, I freeze up and become attached to the specific outcome and I lose my confidence.
That’s about it for this moment. My eyelids are heavy, so I am going to lay down for a bit. Sometimes shutting it all out is the only way to relax… especially when nighttime hasn’t been conducive to sleep. Visualization seems like a chore so I won’t even bother right now. Abraham-Hicks says that sleeping is sometimes a good way to stop thought and stop the low vibration. Let’s see if I pick up at the same spot when I wake up- or if I’ll feel refreshed and optimistic.